She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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