hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
