Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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