Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
