Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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