it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
