Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
