Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize