yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
