But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
