If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
