Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
