R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you win again, gameday.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
