Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
