he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
