dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
