i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
