Where did you get a picture of my penis
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
