You just made me feel so damn special
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
