Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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