ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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