its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize