we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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