i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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