You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
