I'm lost and stupid without you.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
