I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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