I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
