you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
