Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
