I want to stick my p in your. b.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
