You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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