i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize