I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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