i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
