It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
