So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
