Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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