She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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