4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
