i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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