But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
