i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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