btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
