jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
