does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize