No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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