Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
