He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
