the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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