what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
