I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We have so much sex to catch up on
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
