the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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