She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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