she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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