I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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