let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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