I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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