Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
