i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
