Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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