i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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