she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
