hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
