like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize