Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize